February 2012
74 posts
It’s so easy to be happy when you’re in love.
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“Seduce my mind and you can have my body. Find my soul and I’m yours...”
– Anonymous
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P for Paranoid.
I am seeing warning break up signs just one week into the relationship. Or is it all just in my head? :|
I love him, though. And he says he loves me. So I guess I just gotta have a little faith and trust— two things I’ve always been so careful of giving away (see what it does?)
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Suddenly | Ina
“And suddenly I know what...
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Love: What it does.
by Charlene Papas
It makes you smile silly,
It gives you butterflies in your tummy
It makes your heart skip a beat,
And seem to fill up because he’s just too sweet
It keeps you up at night,
It makes you feel floating light
like absolutely nothing could go wrong,
And it makes you listen to ridiculously sappy love songs (haha)
It makes you over and over scribble his name,
It makes...
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I don’t know if this is what normally having a boyfriend feels like, or if this is just what having a boyfriend Tony feels like, all I know is it’s perfect and I’m not ever trading it for anything.
I get so violent to my cellphones sometimes. No wonder they’d rather go missing.
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It feels so good, it feels so right. But it’s only lasted for less than a week (6 days). I wonder if we’ll still feel as strongly later on..
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What goes up, must come down. And vice versa.
Take today for example. It started horribly, and ended pretty well. I’m so thankful for all the people around me today. And yes, I feel like I do have to post about this, because I don’t feel it very often. Happy note. :)
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HAHAHAHA! This statement from this day, February 22nd of 2012, shall never be forgotten. :D
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I woke up to my mum and dad fighting today. Wow,...
Not their usual bickering (and sometimes screaming). Now they’ve upgraded to violence and sue threats. My mum would usually be the reasonable one. This morning, she wasn’t. Neither of them was. Good morning.
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He’s serious. Oh my god I don’t know what to feel lol but I’m excited and scared gah what even. Ok gosh, self, stop. Must not get hopes up. Must not.
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P for Pathetic.
It’s all so pathetic. It’s pathetic that my first boyfriend is my best friend. It’s even more pathetic that he’s online. It’s also pathetic that I love him, but I do. Or at least I think I do. It’s all so fucking pathetic. Whatever, let it be, I don’t care.
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“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” - Mr. Darcy
Can I just say how I went crazy over that?! Goodness. Goodness!
I know I’m only going to get hurt, but I won’t let my lack of courage keep me from taking this chance. Not this time.
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Reading Pride and Prejudice. I’m only on page 92, but I’m already falling in love with Mr. Darcy. What even, I guess that’s my own prejudice.
Let me just say this while everything is perfect: I love my life. I may not be able to say that again, but at least now, right now, I feel it. And to feel something once is better than not being able to feel it at all.
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And so suddenly,
I find myself reblogging cheesy quotes and mushy schmushy love songs. So this is what it does.. haha.
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Charlene | Anthony Hamilton
I like this song. Oh...
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Note to self: Just don't get used to it.
It’s like that at first. You can’t say the same for the next, say, couple of weeks.
I loved today.
Why:
First period. Sat next to my crush. Interaction with him as well. It was awesome. I mean, FINALLY?!
Saw Arthur.
Saw my Medtech crush. And his new bag. I liked the old bag better, though.
Saw Patrick Grandl. Patrick Fucking Grandl, for goodness’ sake he’s never around anymore! Wow.
Saw Charles. Charles. Remember him? He’s from Velez and they went to our school for this...
The man in orange.
My first thought was: “Okkkk? Orange top and orange pants early in the morning? Weird..”. But then when I noticed the handcuffs and the police officer with him: “Oh shit, he’s a convict I’m scared”, and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one thinking that. Then I realised how unfair it was of me, how unfair it was of everybody, to have those thoughts....
Somebody did ask me out today, though.
Just ignore the fact that she was female. Haha, we both were date-less and she thought it’d be a good idea. I said no, though. I had class :(
No wonder this pimple appeared.
So. My best friend tells me he likes me. Problem number 1: To believe or not to believe? Some part of me feels that it’s all just bullshit. Problem number 2: To accept or to push away? Honestly leaning on the latter, sorry. Ok, anyway I compiled a list in hopes that it will clear things a little bit.
Reasons why we should not:
You’re only gonna get hurt in the end (because...
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Ocular muscles.
Very useful indeed especially for unavoidable circumstances such as those that happened today, where there are too many pathetic people bringing what I now call “Annoying Valentine Goodies (roses, balloons, them disgustingly sweet stuff)”, where one can only do so much as to roll their eyes. One for each one of you, ku-fucking-dos!
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Seriously, though?
In school today, too many roses, too many heart balloons. ESCHK. I’m not bitter, okay? I’m just.. it’s just.. gosh I’m sounding in-denial-bitter now, that’s worse. But really, I’m not bitter, I’m just annoyed. Talk about overrated.
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Now.
Everything’s just.. rearranged. It’s so different.
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“Here’s to all the places we went. And all the places we’ll go. And...”
– John Green An Abundance of Katherines
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He who dared.
After everything that we’ve been through. After all the years of friendship. All leading to this moment. Finally? No? I don’t know. I am a jumble of emotions right now.
So yesterday.
So this post. I wrote it yesterday, I’m supposed to post it today right now.
“So what does it mean:
when he wants to hug you
when he starts calling you mine/my -insert your name here-
when you call each other sweetie
when he says, “those three words for you”/when you say i love you to each other
when your conversations are filled with innuendos that signify Something...
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:( for two days now (and counting).
The Maine is having a concert in Manila on March 31st. And I can’t be there. I want to be there so bad, and I can’t fucking be there. Can I just say, unfair? Unfair. I’d kill to be there, I’d give anything, everything. It’s just so sad. The tickets aren’t even expensive, it’ll be so fucking worth it I just know. And here I am, just so fucking broke I...
Like an ice cream shop during winter.
I like to write poetry. No matter how shitty they are, truly, I do. But it takes emotion and inspiration to be able to do so. And my life has neither. I am passive, not emotional at all. And my life is uninteresting and as uneventful and boring as an ice cream shop during winter (? see, I can’t even formulate a proper metaphor!) that no inspiration would dare come venture.
Things I couldn't say #1.
Man, I want you to tell me how you feel about me. Or if you even feel anything at all. I want you to be honest and say things exactly as they are. Just tell me. Don’t care if it hurts, don’t think, just tell me. Because I’m so confused. I am so confused. I don’t care if it kills me, I just really need to know. Please.
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Good books.
You can say I liked a book when I need some time after reading it, like some breather, before starting another one. Consequently, I don’t care much about a book if I immediately just move on to another one right after I finished it. Good books need to be processed, they need to be felt they’re almost sacred to me. They need to be respected and in giving spaces I think I’m giving...
Dire mood.
I don’t like it. It’s like nothing could possibly make me crack tiny smile or something at least just resembling it.
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Those three words, huh? This isn’t what friends do..
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He’s really sweet.
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“You can’t protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from...”
– Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Jonathan Safran Foer
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I tried to write a poem. I swear I'm not high, I...
By Charlene Papas?
You and reality
Just don’t go together
There’s no way for you and me
To be meant for each other
And also, just so you know,
I’m starting to think
That poems that rhyme, like how this one goes?
They stink.
That first verse up there?
It sucks so bad I could cry
I mean, who could bare
The whole gayness of it god self please just die.
I love pie.
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“A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at...”
– The Fault in Our Stars John Green
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Reality.
By Charlene Papas
Sometimes I think
Maybe you like me
Maybe you feel it too
Maybe we’re meant to be
But then I think
Why the hell would you like me?
What the fuck, self,
Get over it, this is reality
LATE it be?
So I was running late (not to mention again) for school this morning. I woke up with only 20 minutes to spare. I ate (the breakfast was good ok and I had to eat lol excuses, excuses), and brushed my teeth for 10 minutes, so that leaves 10 minutes. I tried to take a bath within that little time frame, and mind you, it was a great feat for me because I normally shower for at least like half an hour....
I’d rather be bored than do something productive.
To my friends.
I have the best friends ever. And I’m not saying it because we just did something special and fun together, say, hang out at the mall or something, no. I’m saying that, because I just really realised so. They reach out, they never give up, even when I keep pushing them away. Dear friends, I may not say it, and I may not have the chance to say it in real life, but please know that I am...
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The Fault in Our Stars.
I finished reading this book today. I think this book is different from John Green’s usual style which is the following-a-trail, mystery-ish, question-filled type of story, but oh my god I loved it nonetheless. First off, I’d like to say this book made me understand the truth about cancer. I knew that cancer is incurable, but after reading the book I also felt how it’s so...